Help is one of the most crazy-paradoxical things in life. I had been thinking about help since I read 'Ender's Game'.
In 'Ender's Game' from the very beginning to the end it is plain to all the readers that Ender is a child, however extraordinary he might be. The motto all the people who taught him before the final battle was that it should be obvious to Ender that no one else would help in anything, however unfair or dangerous the fights he fight may become. What he was to expect was to be manipulated by others into doing what they wanted, from the very beginning of Battle School to the talk with Valentine and battles with Mazer which he was tricked into thinking was training. True he did what he had to, he did save earth (well sort of !) and all the people close to him but he was cheated, betrayed by a lot of people he trusted and manipulated into doing what they thought was right.
How would he feel at the end ? To have done something of unimaginable magnitude without knowing that he was, to have killed millions ? Why didn't all the people he cared about help him or at least tell him the truth ? That brings us back to the paradoxical help.
Think about a day when you don't know a single soul alive on earth. Then what would you do ? Would you be able to live like you had done all the time ? We take so much help from others for granted; people are willing to listen to us, provide emotional support and maybe the feeling of being cared for sometimes, not to mention a truckload of material help like money,opportunities,travel etc. From the bus conductor, waiter or the magazine vendor we see everyday to close friends and family, everyone is knit together in a planet sized network helping each other in their own little ways. That is one side of the coin and I have a suspicion that this close knit network nature is very much a part of being human. We see it everywhere humans have gone whether it be the middle of Sahara or a neighborhood in New Delhi.
The other side is independence. Do we really become dependent if we take help from others ? It is obvious at a material level where you will miss someone who had been doing something for/to you when that person is gone. But it becomes fuzzy when we go to the level of the mind. Does the same law of independence hold for the relationships we have, the moments we share and the emotional support we receive and give ? I'm afraid that won't be answered very easily and on all counts it might not have an answer at all.
Even though we take it for granted, we also treat getting help as a right. We expect the people whom you care about to care about you even though you have not signed a contract with them to do so (I have been watching too much 'Suits' :D ). We feel bad, angry, frustrated, sad and sort of worthless (not necessarily in that order !) if we find out that someone we cared about a lot does not in reality don't give a dime about us.
The last thing is that even though we are so particular about getting help we are not so particular about giving when it comes to people who are not close to us. Think about it. If we help people don't know that much not by lending them one lakh rupees ( well not preferably !) but in little things that you can do then that would and that make the world a considerably better place. Either they'll end up being friends (or whatever : credit to MM :) I never thought I would use it like this ) with you or they won't, but they would have got a piece of help with no strings attached which is a very rare thing to give :)
In 'Ender's Game' from the very beginning to the end it is plain to all the readers that Ender is a child, however extraordinary he might be. The motto all the people who taught him before the final battle was that it should be obvious to Ender that no one else would help in anything, however unfair or dangerous the fights he fight may become. What he was to expect was to be manipulated by others into doing what they wanted, from the very beginning of Battle School to the talk with Valentine and battles with Mazer which he was tricked into thinking was training. True he did what he had to, he did save earth (well sort of !) and all the people close to him but he was cheated, betrayed by a lot of people he trusted and manipulated into doing what they thought was right.
How would he feel at the end ? To have done something of unimaginable magnitude without knowing that he was, to have killed millions ? Why didn't all the people he cared about help him or at least tell him the truth ? That brings us back to the paradoxical help.
Think about a day when you don't know a single soul alive on earth. Then what would you do ? Would you be able to live like you had done all the time ? We take so much help from others for granted; people are willing to listen to us, provide emotional support and maybe the feeling of being cared for sometimes, not to mention a truckload of material help like money,opportunities,travel etc. From the bus conductor, waiter or the magazine vendor we see everyday to close friends and family, everyone is knit together in a planet sized network helping each other in their own little ways. That is one side of the coin and I have a suspicion that this close knit network nature is very much a part of being human. We see it everywhere humans have gone whether it be the middle of Sahara or a neighborhood in New Delhi.
The other side is independence. Do we really become dependent if we take help from others ? It is obvious at a material level where you will miss someone who had been doing something for/to you when that person is gone. But it becomes fuzzy when we go to the level of the mind. Does the same law of independence hold for the relationships we have, the moments we share and the emotional support we receive and give ? I'm afraid that won't be answered very easily and on all counts it might not have an answer at all.
Even though we take it for granted, we also treat getting help as a right. We expect the people whom you care about to care about you even though you have not signed a contract with them to do so (I have been watching too much 'Suits' :D ). We feel bad, angry, frustrated, sad and sort of worthless (not necessarily in that order !) if we find out that someone we cared about a lot does not in reality don't give a dime about us.
The last thing is that even though we are so particular about getting help we are not so particular about giving when it comes to people who are not close to us. Think about it. If we help people don't know that much not by lending them one lakh rupees ( well not preferably !) but in little things that you can do then that would and that make the world a considerably better place. Either they'll end up being friends (or whatever : credit to MM :) I never thought I would use it like this ) with you or they won't, but they would have got a piece of help with no strings attached which is a very rare thing to give :)
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