Understanding

This post might perhaps be the one that points to the core of the reason of creation of this blog. It is not the same thought I had in my mind when I started writing; it has metamorphosed and changed its meaning but has not lost its importance, to me at least.

It is about being understood and being able to reach out. Are you really understood by anyone ? Am I ? I don't know and I know that there is no sure-fire objective way of finding the answer. You assume some people understand you because they get everything you say and you've known them for a while. You can't know more than that. But for a long time, for unknown reasons this question has been pressing on my mind, again and again. I feel that I am not understood, most of the time, with most people. I don't know if this bothers other people but understanding seems to play a key role in all relationships. Remember the line "You don't get what I'm saying ?". It is so cliche that it doesn't even stand out as a line.

What does being understood mean ? I have been trying to tackle that question because it might offer me a way to get out of this situation. A lot of ideas have come and gone but only a few have stuck. One of them is actually inseperable from the above stated : loneliness. You feel less lonely when you are understood by someone at a deeper level. You feel that there is some one who shares at least that idea with you. I won't dwell on the more interesting question brought up here : why do we feel the need to identify with someone ?

Another idea that has stayed is of self-worth. Some part of your self worth is based on being respected and being 'known' in a sense. By 'known' I don't mean popularity, I mean that the people who know you generally respect your ideas and thoughts. They listen to you. This is somehow very important to self worth apparently, but I still don't know why.

The third candidate is understanding yourself. You get a better idea of who you are and what you think when other people understand you and you see your own thoughts and ideas reflected from them and see them for what they really are. It might sound like a small deal. You know what you know right ? But then why does people take eons to realize that they love other people, why do they black out after studying hard for a test or destroy an interview that they could have aced with their hands tied to their back ? Some people call it lack of confidence; I would rather call it not truly knowing how good you are, what you expect etc. Essentially not knowing yourself for who you are and knowing what you know and are capable of.