I read ‘Adarsha Hindu Hotel’ by Bibhutibhushan Bandyopadhyay
when I was a small kid (I’m still a kid but not very small :D ). It is a
wonderful, simple minded, straight book about an exceptional cook from a lower
class, working in a dingy hotel where he is not valued, chasing his dream of
having a hotel of his own with the help of few loved ones. I read ‘Divaswapna’
by Gijubhai Badheka around that time too (Being an old book, I think it is
available in the public domain http://www.mavjibhai.com/EBOOKS/Divaswapna_Eng.pdf).
Recently I read ‘I too had a Dream’ by Dr. Verghese Kurien, one of the key
architects of Amul, who did the impossible and brought India to the forefronts
of dairy industry, that too under co-operative structure. The common thread
connecting all these books is the fact that they speak of the stories of people
trying to fulfil their dreams, working hard, fighting for it and finally doing
it. In all of these you can feel their zest for doing what it takes, to stand
up for themselves and what they think to be right and to take risks when they know
they might fail, but if they succeed they are going to make a change, make it
count really!
Now to what I have been thinking (yes, there is always that :) ). In my own small way
I think I’m chasing my crazy dreams too. I’m not taking big decisions or risks
that these people took, but in a very small way I’m trying to do what matters
to me even though I don’t have the slightest idea how to go about doing that.
When I read those and imagined how it would feel I always thought each day I
would wake up feeling lucky, ready to tackle whatever the day threw at me and
enjoying the challenge. However after I've started doing this (chasing one of my
dreams officially, so to speak), my inspiration tanks have been nearly empty. I
don’t know what is wrong either. I've learned a lot of incredible things, but I've been terribly busy too. I haven’t had time to look at the things I love on my
own and explore things, instead I've been running around trying to (and barley
managing) pull of all the work I've to do. I have been doing a lot of blaming
and blame shifting on my dreams and on me for a while, until now that is. I've begun to realize that maybe there is nothing seriously wrong with either of them;
instead it’s just the perspective and the circumstances that matter.
I realized that for a long time I've not appreciated what I
can or did do, saying to myself “good work man, hope to see more of you”.
Instead I've been worried about what I can’t do and what I didn't and I think
that is somewhat true for all of us too. Do we realize the gravity of the fact
that we’re here (reading a blog or watching a Friends episode for the umpteenth
time or doing whatever you like doing!) and we are living? Out of all the
periods in the world, we are here in this time with its own challenges which we
have to fight to overcome, with other 7 billion and growing unique people
living their lives with their hopes, aspirations and dreams, and that I think,
is not something very trifle.
The second realization was that when I deal with things that
I couldn't or didn't do, more such things will pop up without any doubt, if I
choose to base my happiness on that instead of the things I can and did do, it
is very unlikely that I’m going to be really happy. Moreover such things are
what make life life, what gives it the unique flavor and challenge. That doesn't mean I can’t appreciate the things that I already have, it might be just that
being aware of what I have might be enough to push me forward to the things I
can’t do. Being too involved in our own struggle we fail (at least I do at times !) to see the holistic picture and what things really matter.
Armed with these two little realizations, I’m going to try
to chase those dreams again :D. I might
not succeed but it but sure as hell I will have tried it!
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